Caught in the Middle

Credit: Moneyball

Note: This is not a movie review and is not only for baseball fans. But I suggest you watch the movie “Moneyball” first before reading this writeup.

“I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
I don't know where to go, can't do it alone
I've tried and I don't know why

Slow it down, make it stop or else my heart is going to pop
'Cause it's too much, yeah it's a lot to be something I'm not
I'm a fool out of love 'cause I just can't get enough”

-    Lenka from the song “The Show”

I know this is quite late, but I just recently watched “Moneyball.” Thanks to the Philippine cinemas for not showing this movie. “Moneyball” is a film about how baseball sabermetrics came into fruition. It is about Oakland Athletics’ general manager Billy Beane strategizing to make his cost-cutting team become competitive enough to battle the big market teams.

The story starts with Billy getting frustrated after a big money club (the New York Yankees) defeated his Athletics the previous season. He was so infuriated because he could not match up against squads who have the money. With baseball not having a salary cap, small market teams struggle to even have a chance. It even got worse when he lost his three star players – Jason Giambi, Johnny Damon and Jason Isringhausen – to big market teams. It was a bleak start to his 2002 season. Just imagine having a system that surrounds three star players then you suddenly lose them. It is tough to cope especially if your owner does not want to spend big bucks.

My plane ticket to Atlanta

Working here in Atlanta was like a dream come true to me. I wanted to experience living in the United States and I want to watch my favorite baseball team, the Atlanta Braves. I was so ecstatic when I learned about it, but when days started creeping near my departure to Atlanta, I started to realize that it would be a major change for me. I have never experienced living for more than a month away from home. I admit that I am largely dependent to my parents. Life was good in the Philippines and I loved getting to talk to or at least live with someone when I arrived home from work. When I was about to leave, I wanted to savor the days with my parents, relatives and friends (I know it is just a year, but still if you are attached to someone, it is an emotional thing to leave them for a long time). I wanted things to slow down before I left.

I got homesick even if I have not even left yet. I am a sentimental guy. I started to remember “The Office’s” Michael Scott (Steve Carell) when he left Dunder Mifflin. He was so attached to them but he decided to skip his last day at work because he did not want to experience heavy emotional drama. I did the opposite and I experienced what Michael avoided. With that, it felt a bit tough for me to cope in my first few days in the United States.

“I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
I don't know where to go, can't do it alone
I've tried and I don't know why

I'm just a little girl lost in the moment
I'm so scared but I don't show it
I can't figure it out, it's bringing me down
I know I've got to let it go and just enjoy the show

The sun is hot in the sky just like a giant spotlight
The people follow the signs and synchronize in time
It's a joke nobody knows, they've got a ticket to the show.”

Fighting through the stress of free agency, Billy Beane tried acquiring players from other teams. However, he had a tough time convincing the general managers. In his quest, he found a statistical geek named Peter Brand. He was a fresh grad but Billy was amazed at his approach in evaluating players. Instead of targeting the traditional players which had high hit and homerun numbers, Peter convinced Billy that he should target wins. This was achieved by getting players who can get to base more.

Numbers. Numbers. Numbers. Moneyball is actually not just about numbers. | Credit: Moneyball

With this approach, Billy started getting low-cost players who reached base more often than the highly touted free agents his owner could not afford. It was tough for his front office to accept it at first. The A’s manager (in baseball, the equivalent of a head coach is a manager) was not even willing to bench his star rookie for the player Billy wanted to play at first base (Scott Hatteberg). If things went bleak at the start of the offseason, things got bleaker during the season. From a playoff team, Oakland ended up in last place.

Pundits started to call for Billy’s head. Flashes of his past failures were shown. Billy remembered how he failed as a player – he skipped college because of the promise of baseball, unfortunately it did not pan out as expected. He doubted himself. If there was only one security Billy had, it was his daughter. She sang Lenka’s “The Show” and Billy felt his comfort zone.

Going back to my Atlanta experience, my first days were quite different to me. I knew that after I wake up, there was no one in my house other than me. My mother is not around to cook meals for me. I had to do laundry for myself. I could not call Dad to guide me when I got lost after missing a turn in the Interstate Highway. My family was not there for me to serve as my security blanket. I was actually able to do all the household stuff and survive. But the emotional thing was tough at first. I started missing everyone. I wanted to talk to them every time I had a chance to. This was because I want to feel secured.

I was very anxious in my first days here in the United States.

“I'm just a little girl lost in the moment
I'm so scared but I don't show it
I can't figure it out, it's bringing me down
I know I've got to let it go and just enjoy the show
Just enjoy the show

I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
I don't know where to go, can't do it alone
I've tried and I don't know why”

Credit: Moneyball

With the Oakland Athletics struggling, Billy got more disappointed. His past demons continued to haunt him. He got heavily emotional and he made gut calls of trading acclaimed players because the Athletics’ manager refused to play his sabermetrics players (the players who get on base better). Billy went all in in his belief.

That was not the only radical change that happened to Billy. From then, he began to converse with his players more. He once had the philosophy of not mingling with the players because he does not want to get concerned for their personal lives once he trades or cuts them. It somehow changed there as he talked to his players to push them further. Peter got to talk to the players to do stuff where they have the highest probability of succeeding (i.e., where to swing the bat). My favorite scene in this part was when Billy convinced the veteran David Justice to give one last push for his career and be a leader to his teammates.

Suddenly, the Athletics began winning. They stacked up the W’s until they became division leaders. Their winning streak got better and they started tying and beating the records – the franchise records, the division record and finally they got to tie the league record. During the game when they were supposed to set the record, Billy’s daughter called him and asked if he is watching the game. He told her he wasn’t because he was going to watch his minor league’s performance. She told him that he may want to change his mind and go back. Billy turned on the radio to find out that the Athletics are on an 11-0 lead early in the game. 11-0. That is a huge, insurmountable lead in baseball. Billy took the U-turn and attended the game.

He is living his dream. He was seeing his team reaching the stars by beating the record. However, when he started watching the game, he saw the opposing team – the Kansas City Royals – eating up their lead. One by one, the 11-run lead began to disappear. Billy started to doubt himself. Flashbacks of his past failures started looming. It went worse when the Royals tied the score at 11-11. Billy started to remember that he is still a loser. It was tough. But in an effort to win the game, the Athletics’ manager turned to Billy’s favorite sabermetric guy – Scott Hatteberg to bat. Scott did not swing in the first pitch. The atmosphere was anxious. The crowd was silent. The second pitch was thrown and Scott saw it heading towards the direction where he has the highest probability to hit. He swung the bat and…BAM! He hit a homerun. The Athletics just scored a run! The A’s just beat the winning streak record! Suddenly, Billy was able to get the monkey off his back.

Homerun Hatteberg! | Credit: Moneyball

Thanks to modern technology. I was able to talk to my parents and my relatives through Skype, Yahoo! Messenger or Google+. I somehow got to feel secured even if I am miles away from them. I still felt a bit homesick but it was a relieving feeling to be able to communicate to them and share how great things were in here. Thanks to my officemates here in the U.S. They gave me a warm welcome and I was able to cope in my first week. We had a paintball activity just last Sunday and it was fun. I love that camaraderie that Pinoys have here in America. We were away from our home country but at least we were able to make it feel like home here.

As days go by, I started to feel comfortable here. It felt fun to drive again. And it was good that people follow driving rules here because you will feel safe when driving. I also liked it because one of the things that I know I would miss had I worked in another country (i.e., Singapore, Malaysia or Hong Kong) is driving. And, that is a great thing in here. I have started to feel at ease when shopping for grocery in here because I get to eat food that are scarce in the Philippines.

I got to eat at Chick Fil-A – the fastfood that Americans love to rave about. I am making it my weekly habit to eat at that awesome chicken food chain. I got to watch the NFL games I have problems to follow in the Philippines because it is not available in TV there. Boy, watching NFL and eating Chick Fil-A (while drinking an ice cold beer) is priceless! The huge pine trees, the dry weather and the beautiful scenery are just some of the things I wanted to experience at least once in my life. And, I am living that dream. Amidst the sea of homesickness, I am starting to like America for what it’s great at. Months from now, I can probably watch in Turner Field.

It is not bad after all.

“I'm just a little girl lost in the moment
I'm so scared but I don't show it
I can't figure it out, it's bringing me down
I know I've got to let it go and just enjoy the show
Just enjoy the show, just enjoy the show

You’re such a loser, Dad. You’re such a loser, Dad
You’re such a loser, Dad. Just enjoy the show
You’re such a loser, Dad. You’re such a loser, Dad
You’re such a loser, Dad. Just enjoy the show,”

-    Billy Beane’s daughter

When I read an article in Grantland.com, the writer mentioned that the show was lame for showing the climax (20-game win streak moment) twenty minutes before the ending. The writer complained that it was too anti-climactic. However, I still think that the climax happened in the end. The Athletics lost in the playoffs to the Minnesota Twins. Billy Beane continues to be a loser at his own standards (since he still did not win the championship).

During the next offseason, Billy got an invitation from the Boston Red Sox to be their next general manager (we all know he didn’t – unless, they disguised him as Theo Epstein which is impossible because Theo is a young smartass then). Not only was Billy offered a job in one of baseball’s most storied franchises, he was given the highest GM salary of all. He pondered if he should take it. He was actually worried. He wanted to win the championship in Oakland.

Then, Peter came and provided him enlightenment. He showed him a video clip of a minor league player named James. “James is gonna do what he never does. He’s gonna go for it” quips Peter. He showed James hitting the ball and running past first base (where he normally just stops). But instead of running, he slipped and dived back to first base. That is an embarrassing thing, right? Nightmare! Billy reacts and says, “oh, they are laughing at him.” However, what James did not know was he actually hit a huge homerun. The players – his opponents that are protecting the bases – were actually not laughing at him. They were telling him to go run and savor your homerun. It was a good metaphor to what Billy was currently experiencing. What are you feeling so disappointed about? You just changed the landscape of Major League Baseball, Billy. You may not have won the World Series, but you are a game changer.

One of the most heartwarming scenes in the movie | Credit: Moneyball

The film ends with Billy (in tears) listening to his daughter’s CD where she sang “The Show” one more time again. This time, it was not about Billy appreciating how talented his kid is. It was more on the lyrics that was in it. He was struggling and he does not know where to go. But he must remember that in the end, he should stop worrying about losing (You’re such a loser, Dad). What he needs is to enjoy the show. In life, it is not just about the end result. You have to enjoy the show for what it’s worth. You have to take the win in it. Billy may not have won the grandest stage of them all, but he won something unique – he changed how people strategized in baseball. It was funny how pundits lambasted “Moneyball” for being a copycat of “The Social Network.” But for my money, I thought that Billy realized that he was already a winner in Oakland. He is already a winner for revolutionizing the sport. He is already a winner with his lovable daughter. Yes, he may have missed the opportunity to be a champion had he only joined the Red Sox, but it may have been that his legacy to the game sufficed Billy’s win. He may have enjoyed the show.

Yes, enjoy the show.

In the grand scheme of things for me, I appreciated “Moneyball” because it made me savor my stay here in Atlanta more. Yes, I may have lost the comforts of living in the Philippines but isn’t this Atlanta experience what I was dreaming of? I know that things may get tough here in life, society and work but “Moneyball” served as a reminder to me to stop overthinking and start enjoying. Enjoy the show. Enjoy the show that is life. Enjoy the opportunities and fun that it brings. It does not necessarily have to be experiencing your dream or living in a place you would want to be. It could be a birth of your child. It could be a new relationship. It could be friends. Or, it could just be life for what it is. Love it. Live it. Take the wins with it.