Tuesday, February 9, 2010

The Indelible Mark

Late 90’s to early 2000’s. What do you remember most about those years? For me, those were the peak of my teenage years. Those were the times when I first got exposed with the harsher realities of life. These could heavily influence a teenager’s outlook of this world. I got my first taste of liquor – it was not as pleasant tasting despite how grand it appeared to be. I can still remember my first disgusting puke on a resort room during a school org overnight. A decade ago, I began to understand politics better as I watched the courtroom drama of Erap’s impeachment. It was then when I realized how depressing our country’s political situation was – any ideals that we learn about society and politics in school are not followed in reality. The late 90’s and early 2000’s also featured media radically shaping our lives with more explicit matter. WWF has shunned from its child-friendly image and showcased rebellious badass protagonists such as D-Generation X and Stone Cold Steve Austin. Rock bands evolved from Kurt Cobain’s depressing lyrics to a more hostile, violent or rebellious sound as screaming nu metal bands took the spotlight. ‘Sex’ and ‘Violence’ were the most used words in MTV. Those years were my high school years. All of the eye openers that I mentioned have influenced me some way or the other. (Please do note that I am not making an exception for the late 90s as the only times these things happen. We all know wild stuff happened in the 70s and 80s as well)

Amidst all of the teenager life-changing events that I encountered, there was still one influence that was as remarkable as the others that I mentioned.



I was a simple student then. I am not the ‘blend in the background’ kid though – my classmates know me because I am one of the achievers in the class. I was the type of guy who you see his name on the ‘top ten achievers’ in the blackboard whenever we get our report cards. Some view me as a geek. Some don’t. My closest friends know that I am not because I wasted my time playing billiards, hanging out at the malls, attend rock gigs and other stuff that normal teenage kids engage in. The closest thing that I have with being a nerd (aside from my grades) was the fact that I always finished my homework before leaving the house for school and I was blessed with a sound logic enough to perfect my Math tests. Yes, my logic has always been my best friend as it was very handy until my last day in school. However, my right brain was not as adept as my left brain was way back then. My high school equipped me with great Math and Science skills. But, as for our English/Literature classes? These were effin’ mediocre. It was a shame because I learned a lot on that class subject in my elementary school. Nevertheless, my Atenean college education rejuvenated whatever I missed back in high school.

Just like most of my class subjects, I used my logic in English classes. It was enough for subject-verb agreements and sentence structures. As for our literature class, all I had to do was memorize all the important details of a reading material. We bought novels but we did not necessarily need to read them – the teacher narrates the story in class anyway. To cut the story short (just like how our teachers did it then), I never understood the art behind the literary masterpieces. It was a shame because I was a bookworm prior to high school. At a tender age of one, I was already flipping the pages of The Jungle Book. I had a plethora of story books in my room. I had a mini library when I was seven years old. All of the potential was there, but it was never actualized in high school…

…wait for it…
Third Year High. It was one of those boring nights. In my desk, there was that white book of The Catcher in the Rye. It had the worst book cover of all time but since it was a ‘suggested’ reading for English class, I flipped the pages and started to read. The book was about a first person point-of-view of a rebellious teenager. It was about his adolescent struggles and his pessimistic perspective of how the world is. He calls people who are not true to themselves as phonies. He even called his puppy love a royal pain in the ass. It was startling at the beginning, but I appreciated and understood it because his teenage struggles had some sort of similarities to mine. The book was fitting despite the fact that it was written in 1951.

Foul-mouthed teenagers just like in school? Check. Experiencing the harsher realities of life? Check. Feeling depressed? Check. Having an idealistic or romantic thinking of hoping to change the world in one’s own ways? Check. The Catcher in the Rye soon became my best friend in those challenging times because I connected with it. After reading 10-20 pages a night, I had several moments empathizing with the main character (Holden Caulfield). No matter how difficult and fulfilling it was to answer a Geometry proving question then, reading the drama of Holden’s life was a hundred times satisfying. It was my breakthrough novel. It shattered the never-ending happy short stories that I had. The true emotions it invoked were brilliant. It epitomized the loss of innocence that I had during my high school days. The Catcher in the Rye was ninety percent depressing yet it was still amazing because it was like having a friend that I could relate with. Of course, Holden Caulfield was a hundred times wilder than I was but his emotions and his uptightness made me wonder more.

After years of reading short story books, I got to finish my first literary novel in junior year high (Goosebumps does not count). The Catcher in the Rye left an indelible mark in my heart despite the fact that I became a suit – a corporate sellout (that’s what a modern day Holden Caulfield would describe it). Of course, things change. We cannot always be the romantic, rebellious and idealistic kid that we were as we become more realistic when we get old. But, that novel changed my life. Ever since reading The Catcher in the Rye, I got to read around twenty to forty novels in a span of two years. Being an escapist was fun as I got to empathize and sympathize with struggles of characters in Dekada ’70, To Kill A Mockingbird, Like Water For Chocolate and A Song of Ice and Fire series. I got to be amazed with the imagery or descriptive narration of the Harry Potter Books, Salem’s Lot and The Hobbit. I dwelled with deeper thoughts when reading The Solitaire Mystery, Sophie’s World, The Alchemist, Sandman and Neverwhere. Lastly, I got bored to death when I read the three Lord of the Rings books, but that is beside the point (at least I was able to finish them that was why I learned to appreciate the movies more than the books – a very rare thing).

If you find edgy, angst-filled or sarcastic statements in my blogs, those are the results of The Catcher in the Rye (and Bill Simmons’ articles). The novel made me realize that it is not a necessity to have a happy or optimistic approach. Dark, yet real statements also add flavor and interest to one’s writings. If we just read nice or politically right stuff every time, wouldn’t it be boring? We need some dose of realism. After all, everything is not in black and white as all is in shades of gray just like what Holden Caulfield enlightened me with. Holden may call me a phony for stating that, but I don’t care. J.D. Salinger’s masterpiece touched me just the same as it did with millions of teenage hearts all over the world. (It also touched John Lennon’s killer’s heart but that is beside the point)
It was sad when I learned that the author passed away days ago. I may have just read one work of J.D. Salinger but it was enough for me to distinguish him as one of the most influential people in my life because of The Catcher in the Rye. The person who was responsible for making my teenage life more interesting is now gone. His legacy stays though I just hope that wherever he is right now, may there be no phonies around him. Thank you, J.D. Salinger.

“Anyway, I keep picturing all these little kids playing some game in this big field of rye and all. Thousands of little kids, and nobody’s around – nobody big, I mean – except me. And I’m standing on the edge of some crazy cliff. What I have to do, I have to catch everybody if they start to go over the cliff – I mean if they’re running and they don’t look where they’re going I have to come out from somewhere and catch them. That’s all I do all day. I’d just be the catcher in the rye and all. I know it’s crazy, but that’s the only thing I’d really like to be. I know it’s crazy.”

-Holden Caulfield from J.D. Salinger’s The Catcher in the Rye

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