Note: This is an old post from my Multiply site last June 16, 2006.
Whiner’s Corner
My life recently is filled with a series of ups and downs (but looking at a wider scope, I think it is on a downward slope) and right now is the part of the week when I am feeling down. Yes, it is part of the week – this rollercoaster experience is changing so quickly that I feel high or low at least once a week. The truth is I am just providing some optimism and determination to myself to fight this darkness during the times I feel high. There are barely actual good things that are happening to me. I just need eventual spurts of positive attitude to keep my spirits up daily. As Dwayne Wade’s slogan goes, “Fall seven times. Stand up eight.”
Nevertheless, tonight is the night I feel like singing Limp Bizkit’s Break Stuff. But, I am not exactly in the position to be destructive. I do not even have the will to hurt a fly. It’s just that stuffs like whining and listening to emo songs are the things that I do to release some of these negative energy.
Too bad, I am not drunk right now so I would not really share on my real problem recently. Anyway, it’s too complicated and personal. It’s not about my employment problems (as these are the shallower problems that I’ve had… I may have gotten frustrated at times but these weren’t the top-of-the-mind concerns for me).
Oh, I could have whined some more but it all diminished (I am still feeling bad) when I talked to my friend through YM. I guess I am really fickle-minded even to my feelings. LOL I just hope that I will find a way to feel better soon.
Booze
When times get worse, who is my best friend? BEER
Well, I just got wasted last night again. Thanks to Jam for his birthday party. I did not have to worry on my budget when I drank those five beer bottles relentlessly (well, not that much but I still maintained my pace up to the end). The problem was, those five bottles were not enough to even make me feel tipsy. I have to admit that I was not a strong drinker before but I have noticed that when I feel so bad, it’s also harder to get drunk. Sa sobrang badtrip sa buhay ko ngayon, pati yung pagiging lasing dineprive pa sa akin.
I guess I couldn’t stop the vice of drinking. I once vowed to stop drinking liquor after our Boracay outing last April because drinking further would just aggravate my ulcer. But what the fuck?! Times are really bad these days that I wouldn’t have time to care for that. By the way, who cares?
I guess booze will serve as a reminder to me of how bad these times are. Expect my habit to tone down when things get better.
On the brighter side, at least I have not smoked a cigarette stick for half a year. I have no intentions of going back to that habit no matter how tempting it is at times when I feel so down. I am keeping that New Year’s resolution so that there’s a reminder for me of my determination to have a better life. But, don’t expect me to smoke again if I have achieved a better life. LOL
NBA Finals
Yay! The Miami Heat have finally tied the series against the Mavericks. Even though I have the sick feeling that the Mavericks would end up as champions due to their performance in the first three games, I am still keeping my hopes for the Heat. Anyway, that has been my life right now – keeping my hopes alive despite of the darkness continuing to swallow those. Actually, I have barely seen light for quite some time but if there was, it is getting dimmer recently. I am already halfway through this month and all I have experienced is darkness. What’s ironic is that this is my birthday month. Perhaps, this is the curse I am getting for not celebrating or caring for my birthday the past few years. But who cares of curses?! My situation is too bad that it cannot get any worse.
But still, Dwayne Wade rules! That kid’s got heart. He carried his team despite of his five fouls and his limping left knee. His fourth quarter rally in Game 3 shows to me that hope still exists despite of the times when you are against all odds. Quoting again, “Fall seven times. Stand up eight.” I just hope that these little spurts of light exist not to be destroyed in the mere future. Well, that’s what I am experiencing – I stand up in order to fall further.
D-Generation X
(Note to all Wrestling fans: Spoilers in here)
Well, these days are really dark for me so I guess I really have to be more escapist in the activities that I do. It’s not that I advocate being an escapist; it’s just that I see these as ways for me to forget my problems momentarily so that I would have some room to calm down as I try to face my problems in the future. Thank God for Jack TV – the cable channel that best makes you feel funny, stupid, and complacent of your problems.
As I get overdosed by comedy shows, I try to look at life in a lighter way. Although darkness still exists, at least I have felt rejuvenated to face my concerns. Laughter is arguably the best medicine (although in my case, I know what/who’s my best medicine).
Going back at Jack TV, I guess the best show for me would still have to be World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) Raw. That is the show that makes me stay at home during Saturday nights. The storylines are getting better (since that’s what matters to me since wrestling is fake) especially now that my most favorite faction, the D-Generation X, is back. The group that best optimizes the WWE Attitude Era is here again to bring nostalgic memories of my 1st year high school days. D-Generation X. You make rules. We break ‘em.
Even though D-Generation X was just a part of a television show, I believed that it had affected me a lot when I was still a high schooler because almost everyone in the class was so addicted to wrestling that they imitated what the wrestlers do. Since it was the WWE Attitude Era, everyone’s actions were more edgy, provoking, and bad-ass. It was the time when everybody was idolizing Stone Cold Steve Austin – the bad-ass wrestler who does not trust anybody and whose favorite gesture was the middle finger. The most loved (and was also hated) faction then was D-Generation X – a bunch of degenerates who didn’t give a damn about the rules and their favorite gesture was doing the crotch chop and shouting “Suck it!”. Because all of these were so cool way back then, everyone was being an ass to each other. What a perfect timing for it to occur during our high school days! Most of us were still immature to the actions but we were old enough to understand what those really meant. As for my case, I was a goody-two-shoes when I entered high school. I never said offensive words to my peers then. Angst was never in my vocabulary (although it was Holden Caulfield who really awakened my angst). But because of that WWE Attitude days, I have a piece of that ‘attitude’ in me up to these days.
Perhaps if I had not been influenced that way then, I wouldn’t have been ranting a lot (since it’s just the attitude aspect of me that was affected by it). Perhaps not. Nevertheless, it’s still part of the experience. It is part of the growing stage that has developed me for what I am right now, for better or for worse. It’s part of the stage of my development as a human being similar to my current situation being part of another stage. For better or for worse, I do not know. All I can do is hope.
You know what? I do not feel that bad as I was feeling when I started this journal entry.
Whiner’s Corner
My life recently is filled with a series of ups and downs (but looking at a wider scope, I think it is on a downward slope) and right now is the part of the week when I am feeling down. Yes, it is part of the week – this rollercoaster experience is changing so quickly that I feel high or low at least once a week. The truth is I am just providing some optimism and determination to myself to fight this darkness during the times I feel high. There are barely actual good things that are happening to me. I just need eventual spurts of positive attitude to keep my spirits up daily. As Dwayne Wade’s slogan goes, “Fall seven times. Stand up eight.”
Nevertheless, tonight is the night I feel like singing Limp Bizkit’s Break Stuff. But, I am not exactly in the position to be destructive. I do not even have the will to hurt a fly. It’s just that stuffs like whining and listening to emo songs are the things that I do to release some of these negative energy.
Too bad, I am not drunk right now so I would not really share on my real problem recently. Anyway, it’s too complicated and personal. It’s not about my employment problems (as these are the shallower problems that I’ve had… I may have gotten frustrated at times but these weren’t the top-of-the-mind concerns for me).
Oh, I could have whined some more but it all diminished (I am still feeling bad) when I talked to my friend through YM. I guess I am really fickle-minded even to my feelings. LOL I just hope that I will find a way to feel better soon.
Booze
When times get worse, who is my best friend? BEER
Well, I just got wasted last night again. Thanks to Jam for his birthday party. I did not have to worry on my budget when I drank those five beer bottles relentlessly (well, not that much but I still maintained my pace up to the end). The problem was, those five bottles were not enough to even make me feel tipsy. I have to admit that I was not a strong drinker before but I have noticed that when I feel so bad, it’s also harder to get drunk. Sa sobrang badtrip sa buhay ko ngayon, pati yung pagiging lasing dineprive pa sa akin.
I guess I couldn’t stop the vice of drinking. I once vowed to stop drinking liquor after our Boracay outing last April because drinking further would just aggravate my ulcer. But what the fuck?! Times are really bad these days that I wouldn’t have time to care for that. By the way, who cares?
I guess booze will serve as a reminder to me of how bad these times are. Expect my habit to tone down when things get better.
On the brighter side, at least I have not smoked a cigarette stick for half a year. I have no intentions of going back to that habit no matter how tempting it is at times when I feel so down. I am keeping that New Year’s resolution so that there’s a reminder for me of my determination to have a better life. But, don’t expect me to smoke again if I have achieved a better life. LOL
NBA Finals
Yay! The Miami Heat have finally tied the series against the Mavericks. Even though I have the sick feeling that the Mavericks would end up as champions due to their performance in the first three games, I am still keeping my hopes for the Heat. Anyway, that has been my life right now – keeping my hopes alive despite of the darkness continuing to swallow those. Actually, I have barely seen light for quite some time but if there was, it is getting dimmer recently. I am already halfway through this month and all I have experienced is darkness. What’s ironic is that this is my birthday month. Perhaps, this is the curse I am getting for not celebrating or caring for my birthday the past few years. But who cares of curses?! My situation is too bad that it cannot get any worse.
But still, Dwayne Wade rules! That kid’s got heart. He carried his team despite of his five fouls and his limping left knee. His fourth quarter rally in Game 3 shows to me that hope still exists despite of the times when you are against all odds. Quoting again, “Fall seven times. Stand up eight.” I just hope that these little spurts of light exist not to be destroyed in the mere future. Well, that’s what I am experiencing – I stand up in order to fall further.
D-Generation X
(Note to all Wrestling fans: Spoilers in here)
Well, these days are really dark for me so I guess I really have to be more escapist in the activities that I do. It’s not that I advocate being an escapist; it’s just that I see these as ways for me to forget my problems momentarily so that I would have some room to calm down as I try to face my problems in the future. Thank God for Jack TV – the cable channel that best makes you feel funny, stupid, and complacent of your problems.
As I get overdosed by comedy shows, I try to look at life in a lighter way. Although darkness still exists, at least I have felt rejuvenated to face my concerns. Laughter is arguably the best medicine (although in my case, I know what/who’s my best medicine).
Going back at Jack TV, I guess the best show for me would still have to be World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) Raw. That is the show that makes me stay at home during Saturday nights. The storylines are getting better (since that’s what matters to me since wrestling is fake) especially now that my most favorite faction, the D-Generation X, is back. The group that best optimizes the WWE Attitude Era is here again to bring nostalgic memories of my 1st year high school days. D-Generation X. You make rules. We break ‘em.
Even though D-Generation X was just a part of a television show, I believed that it had affected me a lot when I was still a high schooler because almost everyone in the class was so addicted to wrestling that they imitated what the wrestlers do. Since it was the WWE Attitude Era, everyone’s actions were more edgy, provoking, and bad-ass. It was the time when everybody was idolizing Stone Cold Steve Austin – the bad-ass wrestler who does not trust anybody and whose favorite gesture was the middle finger. The most loved (and was also hated) faction then was D-Generation X – a bunch of degenerates who didn’t give a damn about the rules and their favorite gesture was doing the crotch chop and shouting “Suck it!”. Because all of these were so cool way back then, everyone was being an ass to each other. What a perfect timing for it to occur during our high school days! Most of us were still immature to the actions but we were old enough to understand what those really meant. As for my case, I was a goody-two-shoes when I entered high school. I never said offensive words to my peers then. Angst was never in my vocabulary (although it was Holden Caulfield who really awakened my angst). But because of that WWE Attitude days, I have a piece of that ‘attitude’ in me up to these days.
Perhaps if I had not been influenced that way then, I wouldn’t have been ranting a lot (since it’s just the attitude aspect of me that was affected by it). Perhaps not. Nevertheless, it’s still part of the experience. It is part of the growing stage that has developed me for what I am right now, for better or for worse. It’s part of the stage of my development as a human being similar to my current situation being part of another stage. For better or for worse, I do not know. All I can do is hope.
You know what? I do not feel that bad as I was feeling when I started this journal entry.
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